Malaysian Rivers & Me

"OH MY FUCKING GOD! THAT LOOKED AWESOME! SIGN ME UP PLEASE!!" I remember about a year ago, a friend showed me his white water rafting pictures and I practically latched myself onto him, begging him to take me there. My swearing did not start then, but my romantic shenanigans with the rivers in Malaysia began.

My first experience was with Selangor River. It is a class 4.5 river about an hour away from Kuala Lumpur. The water in the river come from the Selangor dam and water level is highly dependent on the weather. Truth be told, I am still trying to work out the logic behind what happens if it is raining season, what happens if not a single drop of water escape from the sky and what happens if they release the water from the dam or not. Ah well, I have figured a while ago that none of these really matter to me, because when you are on a raft, down them rapids, whether the water level is excellent or so-so, you will scream. Scream like women giving birth, laugh like a mad cow, or be like me, a complete twat on a raft, goofty but adorable, at least that's what I always thought (with a gigantic smile much like that on the Joker's face..). 

Me started screaming, my friend wearing the white behind me on the left row

I was being clever and lifted myself while we went down a rapid, my friend was stupid.

I sat my ass on his feet and completely squashed him! Shabam!! 

Over the course of a year, I have returned to Selangor rivers, endless time. Bringing bunch after bunch of expats to experience and enjoy the fun that I so adore. The first question I get asked has always been, "How many times now that you have been to this river?". I always smile and tell them, "More than I can remember, but I never forget the thrill." There are many outfits (this is strictly an american term, so a friend of mine insisting on using, even though I have been trying to implant the word - COMPANY - into his head, failed miserably) that operates on Selangor River. One that I highly recommend is Pierose. If you have been to any of white water rafting trips led by Pierose, you will know exactly what I am talking about. Pie gives funny safety intro while he was suppose to be serious. They have guides who are mainly Orang Asli (Native Malays) and they are usually very good. Occasionally you will also find mischievous ones. The ones who wanted so badly to flip your raft.

The first batch of Expats I took to white water rafting at Selangor River

Someone fell out of the raft, Selangor river

This raft failed to go through the rapid, Selangor river

We were already in the water, might as well take a picture!

Final floating down the river, enjoying the cool water on Selangor River

Much though Selangor River is very popular among rafters in Malaysia, but this river has "moods". From October to perhaps March if you sign up rafting on this river, there is a high chance that you will be switched over to raft at Slim River instead, which is close by and equally fun but short. So here comes the fact, the ones that I know. With the natural formation of the Selangor River (what a heaps of bullocks!), it will be extremely dangerous to raft there when the water level is low (this is probably true). Anyway, just take the advise of those experienced guys. Slim river is approximately 6km with rapids from Grade 1 - Grade 3. Nonetheless, this river is not to be underestimated. With a high level of water, there are quite a few rapids that would seriously tear your heart out. Unfortunately none of the actions were captured on camera. 

Scaling down the adrenaline, I took a group of crazy folks to raft at Kampar river combining it with some abseiling fun. Kampar river has only rapids rating of 1 - 3. Unlike Slim River, Kampar river require less skills, and more comical throwing-each-and-everyone-out-of-the-raft actions. For me, it was a splendid day spent with good friends and laughed our silly faces off. There is also a popular spot where some somersault stunt can be performed, all at your own risk. So, to make the trip fun and worthwhile, these are some examples of what they might make you do.

Group of friends white water rafting at Kampar River, Malaysia

White water rafting at Kampar river, being dragged off the raft into the water

Jumping off a tree branch on Kampar river

Abseiling after white water rafting on Kampar river

Next stop, we take a look at the river over in East Malaysia. A famous spot which normally would be included in any of the Mount Kinabalu climb itinerary is rafting at Padas River. This river has a rapid class of 1 - 3 but this is no ordinary river for the likes of the ones in West Malaysia. You cannot simply jump in, or throw someone out of the raft just for fun. Unless the person is a good swimmer, otherwise you might as well get ready to attend his funeral. My friend loves this river. He takes all his visitors to KK out here to spend the day. The train journey to the place is well worth it though, if you ask me. Perhaps minus the local-mother-slapping-young-kids-to-shut-them-up scenarios. He especially loves the body rafting part a.k.a jumping in and go with the current. I went on a few parts with him, one of which  I misunderstood the guide and almost got myself killed. Lucky me, the guide was a fucking splendid swimmer. My advise is, get three nods from the guide before you jump in. 

Check out the rapid on Padas River, Malaysia

With all three popular rivers in west Malaysia and Padas river out of the way, I was scratching my head for a bit about what else I can do to keep my inner desire of adrenaline pumping! I spoke to a couple of people and they all suggested white water kayaking. I have seen a group done it while we were rafting, and OMG, one of the guys was so "Tarzan" like, in a good way! A bit of a shame I did not have a camera with me, or I would wow you with it. Anyway!! Back to the topic. So, there I was googling "crazy adventure Malaysia", I came across a website that is introducing riverboarding to Malaysia! Dang!!!

Riverboarding at Kampar River, learning how to paddle

Riverboarding downstream action at Kampar river

Oh my, that was me riverboarding down Kampar river!

Danny steading himself on the board!

The riverboarding crew at Kampar river

Riverboarding is called sledging in New Zealand or hydrospeed in Europe. What we Malaysian called it is, get-on-the-board-and-prepare-to-pose-for-the-camera! Heh!! Anyway, let me put it in layman term. What you will be given is a very tight wetsuit, one that will surely makes you look ridiculous, a helmet and a special-made board. The guide will then teach you proper kicking techniques and the rest is up to you. You will rest on top of the board that will only support your upper body, while you lower body will be dangling in the water. The trick, from what I have learnt, is to stay balance and smile. If you care too much about your kicks, you are gonna loose the balance and flip, which then increase the chance of your body making out with them rocks and come home like a bruised little puppy. Rafting on Kampar river was easy peasy, but riverboarding is a completely different story. Some pics that we have over that riverboarding trip at Kampar River. 

From a year ago with the OH MY FUCKING GOD remark to now, if you ask me, I am still gonna give you the OH MY FUCKING GOD face when it comes to fun at the rivers. Be it white water rafting, kayaking or riverboarding, I have had great experience and great joy soaking in the water and making a tit of myself. You haven't tried it yet? Well, get out of your shell and get on with it. You will not regret it. 

My Momma, I Love Her

我不觉得歌颂母亲要限于五月的某个星期日。一年有三百六十五天，多的是时间让妈妈知道你心里最真实的感受，多得足够让你把任何再坚固的围墙击破。当然，别只有你喇叭响不停，妈妈那儿却万籁无声。一日一赞美，不但能让妈妈笑开怀更能促进你与妈妈的关系。我知道人与人之间相处容易同住难，就算是再血浓于水也难免有因性格不同而产生口角的事件。值得欣慰是俗语说得对，家人没有隔夜仇，床头吵就床尾和。我和妈妈就是这么一路的走，啊不，她老佛爷用走的；我小桂子啊，可是一路滚过来的。哈！我又有故事要说啰，你要不搬个凳子拉大队来听听啊？

话说妈妈怀我的时候，她才芳龄23岁。想想我那个年纪还整天嚷着不要长大，妈妈她在乃花样年华之时就背上如此重大的责任而且还怀得可辛苦呢！肚子滚得像三粒西瓜大，比怀三胞胎的孕妇还要艰辛。她常笑笑地和我诉苦，说我那一身黝黑的皮肤可是我自找的。在怀孕初期，妈妈就常听旁人说喝鲜奶或豆奶类饮品可以让婴儿肤色亮白。强忍着对奶类饮品的抗拒，眼睛闭一闭，两只手指捏着鼻子，她尝试把一杯巧克力牛奶灌下。她说没有预期的奶腥味，还蛮好喝的。可香浓的巧克力牛奶在妈妈的肚子里还没待暖被我吸收，妈妈就把它给呕个精光！“都是你啦，超活泼，一个飞腿就把我的好意给踢出去！”。妈呀！哪能把这种事赖在我头上呢，真是欲加之罪，何患无辞！我说，一定是我超聪明的小脑袋瓜在胎里已经嗅出那一回事儿了，才毫不犹豫地舞动我的腿把漂褐剂挡在门外！要不，我今天可要和奥巴马看齐呗！

好啦，怀胎九月以为终于把我这烫手山芋摆脱了，可一波未平，一波又起。生了，再来就是养育囖！对！养育这恼事可得谨慎。不怕一万，只怕万一！如有一丁点儿的差池，优良学生就变成了逃学生了！可不是我老王卖瓜，自卖自夸！我从小就乖巧伶俐，从来没让妈妈操心。妈妈早上上班前把我喂饱后就提给婶婶照顾。下班回来，妈妈会惯例地让我进餐刷洗接而把我往房里送。灯一熄，我就呼噜呼噜地睡得不省人事。周日假期，爸爸妈妈都很疼我，必定抽空来个家庭日。我想唯一让妈妈觉得美中不足的因该是我长得象秃头鹰吧。。。不是说我的样子哦，是指我到两岁毛发依然寥寥无几，完全不像个女的。妈妈说要不是在我出生的时候亲自验证，她很有可能逛男婴装部门呢！过分！

三年后，我们迎接弟弟的到来。弟弟很可爱！他的小脸蛋红扑扑的让人很想一口咬下去！可能是弟弟转移了他们的注意力，妈妈开始不让我啃奶嘴，还常常替弟弟拍照撇下我不理。。不是我诬良为盗，也不是我空口说白话，我可是有相片为证喔！一张妈妈以弟弟为中心点，而我很不幸的被摄到躲在床上抽抽嗒嗒地，好不可怜哦！我还记得妈妈不惜编了一个故事说我的奶嘴被老鼠给叼走了的弥天大谎想敷衍我。哼，算了，不给我奶嘴，我用偷的！啊不！是借的才对。弟弟那充满奶香味的奶嘴就是本姑娘的冤大头！可能是很恶心的画面，可我那时可机灵呢！乘妈妈不留意的时候，我不慌不忙地把奶嘴从弟弟嘴里拔出往我嘴里送；在妈妈转过头之际先发制人，物归原主，然后对妈妈发出天真无邪的笑容。我一直以为过程是天衣无缝的，后来才知道原来妈妈从头到尾都了。问她，她就说“你嘴里那阵臭奶味很难忽略。”。妈啊！有漏出马脚了！其实妈妈不给我啃奶嘴的主要原因不外是不想看着我凸牙，在已不像女生的身体上多加个缺点。妈妈的用心良苦却被我写得那么不堪，真是狗咬吕洞宾，不识好人心啊我！

我上幼稚园时非常喜欢留长发。长发让我摆脱秃头的编号！长发飞扬的时候让我眄视指使！在幼稚园两年里我是校舞队的成员。老师负责编舞，订购舞衣；我们小小个子就负责牢牢地把舞步记住；而妈妈们就一手包办负责把我们打扮得漂漂亮亮地上台。五岁的时候在表演当天，我绑着马尾，让妈妈画上她超爱的烟熏眼红唇妆。六岁的时候，天妒亮发。它把跳蚤埋伏在我的秀发上，可让我哭笑不得！妈妈当时毅然决然地一手握着我垂死挣扎的头颅，另一手拿着剃刀，刷一声，我稀里哗啦地和散落一地的头发道别！所以，六岁表演当天，我顶着超短溜海娃娃头，带着同样的烟熏眼红唇妆踏上舞台！幸好，这些种种都没有打击我爱读成性的习惯，依然拿了满分第一名和差一分就满分的第二名回家。骄傲呗！

升上小学后，妈妈下定决心把车牌考一考，方便载送我们上下学。她大可以让我们搭校车，象别人家的妈妈。可是妈妈爱子成痴的性格让我们免了成为天天早起的鸟儿。当然，虫还是天天有得吃！妈妈的管教很严。天天负责接送我们，她连哼也没哼一声，反倒埋天怨地是我们这两个兔怠子！由于工作的性质，妈妈每天都忙得不可开交。有时候会延迟半至一个小时才能来接我们。可是就算再忙，饭香味永远在我们踏进车内就阵阵地传来。那是妈妈对我们的关爱。小学六年的生涯让我印象深刻的就是充当我发型师的妈妈。一着被蛇咬，三年怕井绳。仗着我以前的案底，妈妈说跳蚤会认头。别于水痘的病例，跳蚤会频频的光临被它们住过的头颅。。。结果啊，她不让我再留长发。我永远是男孩头。有一次她没有空档带我去理发，必不得已之下，她准备了一个大碗和剪刀。说到这里，我看不用我多费唇舌，你也可以轻而易举地联想接下来的情节囖！是啦！她让我蒙羞的顶着丑不啦叽的椰子头上学耶！悲惨！

中学这时段是我们与妈妈讨价还价的时候。我们姐弟俩从来没有像别人家小孩般，有机会和同学们出游，校后戏耍，同学生日会等等。活了十二个年头，我们可以说是一对不食烟火的怪胎。不甘落于人后，我力争上游，与妈妈来个单挑。我记得有一次，心仪我的对象在上课的时候和邻桌的朋友低声细语。内容是想邀请我到那朋友的生日会，看看我除了校服，运动服以外的模样。我听了非常意外。意外的不是有人情投于我，而是看过我微服出巡的同学，真是区区之众。长达四年的战争终于在我意志力超强下反败为胜，争取到可以参加同学的生日会。当然，我错过了这段露水情缘。可惜啊。。。

大学可以说是我的自由松绑的纪念日。因为上学的路程遥远，所以妈妈把代步工具让给我。在这里偷偷告诉你，我在赛选学校的时候有深思熟虑过哦。。哈哈！有车万事能！可这水龙头打开后，一直以来的压抑一拥而入。我尝遍了十七年里所未能尝试的事情。很多很多我后来才明白为什么妈妈执意不让我们尝试的事情。她不想让我们受伤害，她不想我们后悔，她不想让我们的人生占有污点。现在回想，我确实偶然会深感懊恼。后悔为什么不听老人言。可是已成定局的局势，虽很无奈，也只能听天由命。我很幸运的是，在我最低落的时候，妈妈永远及时给与我关怀的拥抱；在我站在山崖边，她会一把把我拉住；在我汤烧火热的时候，妈妈会不眠不休的照料我。

现在的妈妈没有以前的执著，少了严母的味道，多了朋友的感觉。可能是大家都体会到人生无常这个道理吧。我们都很珍惜当前。现在的我天天会和妈妈讪牙闲嗑，妈妈也会和我们撒娇撒痴。日子过得很好，总算是苦尽甘来。长篇大论说完了，是该你转头对妈妈说声“我爱你”的时候了！明天记得和妈妈吃顿晚餐！

That once-upon-a-time where I was not so outdoorsy and always asking for mom.

The Kid And I

We have recently celebrated a friend's 30th birthday and I gave him a book entitled "When I was a Kid" by Boey, a Malaysian animator / artist based in USA. It's a unique write up, or rather, a series of sketches about his childhood stories in the form of stick figures accompanied by short description and a splendid sense of humor. 

He talked about his life as a little kid growing up in Johor Bahru where he had to commute to school in Singapore. All of his stories reminded me of mine. Unlike Boey, I love too much about writing and I am not particularly artistic so I am just gonna tell my own stories, in my own words. 

I am born and bred in the capital city of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. We lived in a small Chinese neighborhood about 10km away from town where everybody knows about everybody, well almost. My grandfather was an entrepreneur. I used to sit around my grandfather's shop, listening to my dad telling me how my grandfather chased his first order of building materials, and hand delivered them, I mean literally. In 1950's, getting a lorry was out of the question. The only form of delivery helpers that my grandfather could afford at that time was the wheelbarrow and his five little boys. He has then gone on to build his little timber trading empire based solely on his hard work and believes that nothing is impossible. I didn't get much of a chance to know my grandfather. When I was still too little to strike a decent conversation, he was a diabetic patient at a very severe stage. I remembered his funeral though. He had a face of a fighter. 

I remembered talking to a friend about my childhood. While he was grew up being free-spirited and exposed to the nature, I grew up in a protective environment and a set of rules to follow. My parents worked in my grandfather's business even before I was born. That was how they met. The picture of my mom's distinct dislike to my Uncle Fatt and how she thought my dad was a real catch, amused me. Trust me! My dad is the most rigid, old fashioned and big headed Chinese man I've ever met! I sincerely thought my mom's choice was suicidal, but then again, I guess in my mom's eyes, my dad was everything to her. They dated for a year or two before they decided to tie the knot. Well, the actual decision maker was my grandfather. You know how these old fashion folks from China are.. To them, arranged marriage is a norm, dating baffled them. My mom was reluctant to say yes not because she didn't love my dad, but the tiny Ms. Rebellious inside of her refused the idea of getting married at 19. She succeeded. They got married when she turned 21. 

There are so many stories that Boey reminded me of my childhood. I don't know where to start. All of them made me laugh, some with tears in my eyes and some just plain idiotic. Anyway, let's try this. 

My first time going to school where I needed to travel was the start of year one in primary school at the age of seven. The school was located in town center so my dad had to drive me to school every morning. I had lice when I was six years old. Ever since then, my mom kept my hair really short. I am talking about boyish cut, where when she took me and my brother out to the market one day, one older lady asked, "Oh adorable boys! How old are they?" .. My face was black. 

First day at school with new strange kids around me and my boyish hair cut, was something forgettable. What turned the day into a-day-not-to-be-forgotten, was when I felt a rumbling in my stomach, right in the middle of a class. I remembered I was sitting next to a chubby boy and we were in Math's class. I have no idea where the toilet was and I was also too shy to ask. I thought the shit can hold itself but unfortunately it was just too eager to meet everyone. The next I heard was the chubby boy next to me, "OMG, what's that smell??".. I kept quiet. He went on about the smell for a bit and I wished I had a hammer so I could knock him out. After five minutes, I raised my hand and asked for permission to go to the toilet. It was pretty bad. I was overshooting, way past the phrase of "touching cloth". I cried and I wanted mom. So I wondered around the corridor, went down to the main hall and headed to the paid phone. Don't ask me how, but I managed to call dad and told him to pick me up from school cause I shit my pants. 

When I was a kid, my dad loved to take us out for Dim Sum breakfast in the Chinese restaurant on Sunday.  He would tell us the stories over and over again about how only on special occasion that grandfather took them out for Dim Sum on the weekends. He treasured it and he thought we would feel the same, not realizing that we were having the same shit every Sunday, unless he has amnesia. We would go to the same restaurant weeks after week, and dad would park at the same spot in the car park without failed. He would order fried fish ball, prawn fritters with mayo and in the end, generously allowed us to order mango pudding with longan. "Three mango pudding, and please add more evaporated milk." Mom was never a big fan of dessert. He thought we have no idea that the número uno fan of mango pudding was himself! I always hated the preserved cherry on top of the mango pudding. One time, I decided to try other dessert instead. So when the lady with the dessert tray came to our table, I said to dad that I wanted the layered cake. My dad looked at me then turned to the dessert lady and said, "Three mango pudding with extra evaporated milk and the layered cake." He looked at me, "I am having your mango pudding too." 

Boey's bird cage story

One last story before I start writing a book. The only grandparents I had a chance to get to know to was my mom's mom. She babysitted me when I was just born. She used to always say to me whenever she saw me, "Oh! You remember when you were young in my house, the place you spent the most of your time was in the dining room where the table was always filled with food!" Then she would chuckle. No grandma, I don't remember cause I was only 2 years old. I loved her warmth and she was a very strong lady. Our Sunday would normally start with Dim Sum breakfast and ended up in grandma's house. The adults would gather for a game of mahjong while the kids would do anything they wanted. One time, I went cycling with my cousins. We have a very steep slope just the street next to my grandma's house. My Cousin Weng took us there with our bicycle. Everyone got on their bike and went downhill screaming their lungs out. When it was my turn, I felt the adrenaline and let go. It wasn't a figure of speech. I did literally let go, and fell. I saw blood on my knees and that was just tiny matter. What concerned me what the blood stain on my underpants... Period or I have broken my hymen? Urg Uh, don't say a word! Anyway, feared that my mom would toss me upside down like she always do with the peanuts and salt in a wok, I hid it with my cousin's long trouser. 

With all these walk down memory lane, I must say that I was blessed. From when I started my life like a series of computer instructions with steps and rules to follow, revolted when I was 19 to now a proper lady with manners, cultures, believes and her own thinking (at least I like to think of it this way); it wasn't so bad after all. My bond with my family is what I treasured the most and along the way, I met interesting people that some altered my life, some changed my perspective in life, whereas some were just passer bys. What about your life? How was your childhood like? I hope at the end of the journey of your walk down that memory lane that it would put the same smile on your face as it did to me, now.  

Mr. & Mrs. Lau

Never Had

Oscar Isaac - Never Had

I've been gone for so long now
Chasing everything that’s new
I've forgotten how I got here
I have not forgotten you
We were just children but our eyes opened and
You were all that i could see
You came close enough to know my heart beat but
Still not close enough for me

Through the good times and the bad
You were the best I never had
The only chance I wish I had to take
But there was no writing on the wall
No warning signs to follow
I know now and I just can't forget
You’re the best I never had

Nanana Mmmm

In this motel
Well passed midnight
When I’m bluer than a bruise
You come drifting in through the half light
In your funny yellow shoes
And I hope that’s you standing at my doorway
That’s the scratching of your key
And I hope this song I’m singing
Someday finds you
My letter to Elise

Through the good times and the bad
You were the best I never had
The only chance I wish I had to take
But there was no writing on the wall
No warning signs to follow
I know now and I just cant forget
You’re the best I never had
Nana nanana
Best I never had
Nana Nanana mmm
Best I never had
Nana Nanana

I love watching movie. Depending on my mood, sometimes I am game for action pack, sometimes I need some scary materials and sometimes I just wanna chill and laugh. The movie "10 years" has been on my computer for a while now and I was too busy to crack it open. I've got a day off today and thought, why not. 

Oscar Isaac, adorable in 10 Years

The movie is about a bunch of 28 years old adults returned home for their high school reunion party. They were faced with lots of different issues in their past, during high school time. Ex-relationships, the bullies and bullied, the high school prom queen that got knocked up, and you name it. Throughout the one hour duration, a lot of memories just kept knocking on my door. 

I remembered the one guy I met back in high school that I really fancied but it never got anywhere. We had a misunderstanding and we spent a year ignoring each other, which sounds pretty idiotic. We were both too proud to admit our stupidity and talk about it. He is now a father of a very adorable girl and I am truly happy for him. 

I also remembered the group of dear friends that I spent every single day of the entire senior high with. We did everything together and the goofy moments still stuck with me till now. The quick nap during lunch, the wild talk that got us all giggled.. we even went to college together just so we can still see each other. Somehow, something happened, somebody changed and we were friends once upon a time. It is a pity. She got married, she got married too, he has a girlfriend and I don't know what happen to the other guy. 

In the middle of contemplating my past, I heard him singing. Oscar Isaac, an actor who also performed in the movie, a song to Elise, a girl he liked in high school, but never a chance to speak to her. It reminded me of a time when a guy played and sang for me. He wrote a song about a girl he met back in school. She lived just down the hallway and he always saw her through the window. One day she came knocking at his door, they spoke and the sweet story carried on from there. The innocence of the lyrics just captured my heart and he made me felt like I was back in school where liking someone needs no reasons or prerequisites. 

How many of us can do it? Being with someone because you want to be, but not because he or she match your requirement. Let me ask you one question. Do you prefer to be with someone who match all your criteria on your list, but does not really connect with you; or you prefer someone who has some flaws but when your eyes met, you feel that butterfly in your stomach? I would go for latter. As I always say, when you meet someone who is meant to be, you will know. For me, he is always gonna have those little habits that I dislike, but those habits will turn to be the reasons why I love him, in time. You have to take a leap of faith, at all times, until you meet the right one. If you are always scare of getting hurt, then you are just marking time. 

My dearest girl always say we shouldn't make compromises from the very beginning and sell ourselves short because we deserve good men. I agreed with her, but I also know that at our age, good men are basically blockbuster movies that sold out. The movie that has great reviews by others but we never got a chance to watch it on big screen. I'd like to make my own blockbuster filled with action, romance, a rough patch and a happy ending. I don't want the highly reviewed good men. I want an ordinary man who would let me discover his goodness and only I get to do that; an ordinary man who makes me feel like I never had before.

For all my friends who are married or attached, whether he or she is good or bad, kiss them. Kiss them now. Every kiss you land on them, represent a reason why you are with them, till this very moment. For all my single friends, I wish you the best of luck in meeting him / her. Xoxo